You're Gonna Feel So Small
by mmwaitup
Summary: When Blaine finally comes to terms with what cards fate has dealt him, what kind of aftermath will he have to deal with? This is a story of how Blaine deals with his family, the Sadie Hawkins dance, transferring to Dalton, and becoming accustomed to new friendships.
1. The Family Anderson

It starts when he's about seven. His parents aren't the same as they used to be, and that's saying something. They've never really been around for him to start with, but more so before he started being able to do things for himself. Things like picking out clothes by himself. Getting cereal before school. _Walking _ to school. It didn't hurt that the school was a block away but it's still not the same as having your mom kiss you goodbye on the steps of Westerville Elementary on the first day of school.

You see, Mrs. Anderson isn't a cruel person. She even opted out of getting a nanny for Blaine because _that is for stereotypical snobby high-class women. We care about our reputation but there are limits, Greg._ She simply didn't have the time in her busy mornings to tote around her almost fully-capable son to school when it's just a two-minute walk there.

She usually had to pack a suitcase for herself and her husband because they had to leave fairly early in the morning in order to catch their flight to Greg's meetings scheduled for the afternoon. She was the secretary for her husband's growing business, after all, it's not like she _couldn't _go.

These trips happen often enough, though. Blaine is used to his short walks in the morning by himself, most often when it's just snowed and none of his neighbors have shoveled yet because that means he gets to leave footprints first.

The schedule centered around these trips usually involve shutting off the alarm his parents set on his Optimus Prime alarm clock, picking out what he wants to wear that day, avoids Cooper when he dashes down the stairs to grab some breakfast - because let's face it, no teenager wakes up instantly _happy _– and searches for his parents (if they haven't left yet) so he can say goodbye to them, even if they don't always hear him. It's not like he'll brave going to say his goodbye's to Cooper this early, either. Sometimes he just goes to his room after school to do the little math homework Mrs. Perkins gave their class, then visit Cooper's room with a snack to see if he wants to hang out while their parents are away.

Blaine loves school. He loves science, history, math, even English, unlike most of his peers. They're still learning to spell, but Blaine can't help but be excited because he knows it'll make him smarter, and his parents really want him to be smart.

He also loves all of his friends. And yes, 'love' is a strong word, but that's because he really does love all of them with his whole heart. That's just the kind of kid Blaine is.

He tends to give his whole heart to anyone he meets. One time he befriended a boy on the playground from the class next to his with really bright blond hair and threw a fit the next day because he wasn't there. He eventually found out his family moved to Kentucky and cried his eyes out.

He's got _that_ big of a heart.

He also didn't handle the death of his dog, Chip, a huge newfoundland, when he was 4 very well, constantly asking his parents when Chip was coming back and bawled when his dad sat him down and said, "Blaine, you're going to have to deal with this like a grown-up, okay? Chip isn't coming back because we put him to sleep. He was really old, and I promise we'll get another dog when I think you'll be able to take care of a pet of your own, okay? Now, why don't you go up to your room to play or go watch TV with Cooper until your mother has dinner ready," because didn't want _another _dog, he wanted his first best friend back.

That was another thing. His father. When Blaine noticed the insidious shifting of how his family acted, his father never really changed, he just became more prevalent with stating his opinions and taking control with his two sons. He openly expressed how proud he was of Cooper when he made the game-winning goal on the varsity soccer team when he was fourteen and a freshman in high school. He was ecstatic when Cooper brought home Emily, his first high school girlfriend.

Greg Anderson enjoyed having a perfect family, prided himself on it, even, because sure, he had two sons seven years apart, but they were something to be _proud _of, with good grades, perfect manners, and athletically inclined boys, what more could a man ask for?

Cooper himself would be enough of a source of pride for one Greg Anderson. Keeping straight A's when graduating from middle school onto harder courses, mature courses. Making Varsity soccer for Westerville Central his first try in his freshman year of course just added to the perfection that was Cooper.

Out of all the family that lived in the Anderson residence, Cooper was the closest to Blaine. Even with seven years apart between the two brothers, Cooper was fairly protective of his little goofball of a brother even though he was considered the spoiled younger sibling that never went away when he had friends over to play Call Of Duty or when Emily was visiting Cooper in his room.

Even before Blaine was seven years old though, the Anderson family often gave off the peculiar feeling that something was just off. When the two brothers were smaller, they were both told "no" often.

As a curly headed four year old stumble-ran towards his parents' bedroom at two in the morning, and a resounding _go back to bed, Blaine, there's nothing in your closet!_ there wasn't much the toddler could do but brave the dark hall back to his own haunted room.

He stayed up every night, after every time he had a nightmare, after his parents had told him to go away every dream.

_Grown-ups don't get scared because of a silly dream, Blaine._

When Blaine was sick, he didn't necessarily complain, just made it known he wasn't feeling well. He didn't go looking for attention, just a simple _mom, my throat and tummy hurt. _He had heard of his friends bragging about how they got ice cream or popsicles for dinner and tried that on his parents.

_Blaine, darling, ice cream is not a meal, grown-ups need to be responsible for themselves, you'll feel so much better tomorrow, I promise._

It wasn't until he turned eleven the changes in his family became more prominent in his mind as well as other…_things_… that became more prominent too. Like when Blaine noticed the way Jesse's pants didn't really fit him, _or_ his shirt for that matter, and other small observations that made Blaine uncomfortable with himself.

But hey, in elementary school everyone loved Blaine, everyone wanted to be his friend, and Blaine wanted to be everyone's friend in return. Middle school wouldn't be any different. People just got taller, wider, more muscular. Their voices changed, they got more mature thanks to their parents' advice on how to transition to middle school, and they kept the same friends, regardless of schools.

Right?

* * *

_To everyone that has made it this far: THANK YOU SO MUCH! _

_I know I said I'd have this up sooner, and I really thought I would but I still haven't heard anything from my friend/beta so this was unbeta'd and I know that's frowned upon, but it couldn't really be helped...oops..._

_But anyway, thanks again for reading... chapter two should be coming around soon hopefully!_


	2. Let It Sink In

_Quick A/N: if you're back for chapter two thank you so much! And I guess I'll just give the mandatory I DO NOT OWN GLEE (or have anything else to do with it besides major fangirling) OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Blaine's first day at Westerville Middle School is amazing. All of the new students, the new teachers, they adore Blaine. His overwhelming charisma. The charm practically _flowing _from every pore. The manners, well, only the teachers really appreciate his manners, but it has already gotten him far, as far as it will allow on the first day, that is.

He loves his classes and just knows they'll be the kind of courses he can get 100's in, easy. His dad will be so proud.

After a few days though, Blaine starts to get a strange feeling, the one you get when you think you're forgetting something at home when you leave for school in the morning, or the nagging suspicion something is going on but you have no clue what; it's just a little invisible thread pulling at the back of his head.

For the most part, he just plays it off. It's a new school, new year, it's the perfect time to start fresh again and it's about time he starts to get comfortable with his peers ,right?

But that's the thing: Blaine has known he was different from every single friend he's every had since he started kindergarten. What other 4 year old wears bow ties? Who's favorite movie is _all_ of the Disney movies, or enjoys listening to his parents' old records when they let him, and instead favoring 50's slang he's heard in cartoons instead of "dude," or "cool!" like the rest of the kids his age.

It isn't until he reaches middle school he realizes it may not be the best kind of different he could've been.

* * *

The first time he hears it, it isn't directed towards him.

The guys' locker room is filled as soon as their teacher tells them to go change when their soccer game starts turning into a joke because one team keeps scoring three goals at a time, and that's when things change for Blaine.

"God, Trevor plays like a fucking pussy. What a fag, what guy can't play soccer? Why the hell would Jones put him on our team? We would've won if we weren't stuck with him."

The statement shock Blaine, mostly because it's one of his closer friends, Josh.

Luckily Trevor was called back to talk to their gym instructor, Mr. Jones so he misses how Josh, and most of the class joke on his behalf. That particular gym class is made up of mostly kids Blaine's age, but there is the stray eighth grader or two, like Josh.

But, see, _most_ of the class doesn't include Blaine. He was raised just like these kids: use these words to describe someone or something that isn't up to your standards. But he's different, which means he doesn't use those words, and he doesn't believe it's fair to use them when they're not true. And, well, offensive.

As the other kids chirp in with their opinions of Trevor, Blaine remains silent, just as he usually does. What he doesn't expect is to be dragged into the conversation about how _that kid will never get laid, he should probably just go and join the girls' swim team._

"Blaine, my man, you're the soccer star of the newbies this year, what the fuck were you thinking passing that kid the ball?" Josh almost shouts as Trevor joins the rest of the boys to get ready for his next class.

"Just trying to give everyone a chance, you know Jones would've started yelling if he saw someone just standing around," Blaine tries to reason.

"Well, that pussy should've caught the heat for _sucking _and making us lose_,_" Josh stated while staring straight at Trevor.

Now, Blaine's not a confrontational person, but he'll feel the need to step in in the least opportune moment. Such as when he comments on how Josh is in a less advanced class than the rest of his peers thanks to his grades.

"Well maybe you should be in a class with your own age, _Josh. _Maybe then you can tear apart someone who can at least hold their own."

Up until then, Blaine's popularity had carried him far, even gave him support in similar situations to this. But not this time, no, because Josh was insulting the kid's masculinity, or lack thereof. That is just unacceptable to the average 8th grader.

So Blaine was fairly shocked by the glare he got, and very confused by the almost accidental shove as Josh stormed out of the locker rooms when he finished changing.

Blaine ignored the small twinge he felt when Trevor came up to him to thank him for trying to get the large bully off his back for a while, even though he still constantly had to deal with Josh in the hall every afternoon after fifth period English. _I was just being a decent person, he's making it a bigger deal than it is. I would've done that for anyone._

* * *

In 7th grade, Blaine comes to terms with why he felt so protective of kids that were insulted with comments like "what a fag," "they're just like a girl," "he's gay."

Over the course of the summer before 7th grade, Blaine tried the path towards denial.

"There's _no way_ I'm paying more attention to some guy's muscles than Amie's boobs. No way, " he tries reasoning with himself after doing his homework, well, trying his homework. There's no way they learned these terms in English last year, his teacher will have to deal with only half done answers on the summer assignment.

"No way what, squirt?"

"COOPER! I swear to god, why do you never knock? I do for you. And don't call me that."

"Well if you kept your door locked like a normal angst-y teen you wouldn't have to worry about it. Stop trying to not answer my question. _No way_, what?"

"If Mom or Dad tried to get into my room and the door was locked you know they'd throw a fit. Why are you even here? Don't you have college shopping stuff to do?"

"No because now I'm not going to leave you alone once you tell me about whatever it is you're trying to avoid. Duh."

"It's nothing, just no way I'm going to be able to do this homework Jones gave us, she acts like we learned this last year," Blaine successfully leads Cooper off from the truth.

"Well, she probably hasn't changed since I had her, so good luck with that. I almost failed, but don't tell Dad, he thought she kept making mistakes when she entered the grades into the computers."

"Well, if I try using that excuse he probably won't believe me, I suck at lying." By now, Cooper had found his way onto Blaine's bed, making himself completely comfortable.

"You're forgetting you're the star pupil Blainers, you seem to not notice how easily you get A+'s. There's no way Dad wouldn't believe you. Not that you'd actually have to resort to that, because, you know, you won't get anything other than an A anyway." Blaine ignores the nickname and instead scoffs.

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to get this done if you don't leave, sorry. You're a distraction." Blaine flashes an innocent, too sweet smile at his older brother, hoping he'll get the hint to leave because now he's starting to worry he'll let something slip about what he was actually talking to himself about before.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever just hate me now, beg for me to come visit home two weeks into the first semester. I see how it is, Blainers. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as it goes."

_No wonder he's going into acting, he's practically a professional at drama._

"Yeah, bye, shut the door, please! _I'll start missing you as soon as I can_." He mutters the last part as Cooper practically slams the door and waits for the soft voice of their mother to tell them to be careful.

"I HEARD THAT!"

* * *

_Close call, Blaine. Too close. The last person you want to know about this…_predicament…_is family. Cooper will tell Mom, Mom will tell Dad, and then shit will really hit the fan._

It's two weeks after Blaine and Cooper's close call when Blaine finally acknowledges the fact he knows he's different and why. His next step is to get over the extreme paranoia he has now that school is back in session.

Eighth grade is amazing, they're at the top of the food chain, the leaders of the school.

But every corner he turns he's afraid someone will catch him glancing at someone he's really _not _ looking at. They'll think he was looking at Jake. Or Tony, maybe even Patrick, god knows why.

And it's not like his paranoia isn't going unnoticed by his friends, either. Ray is the first to say something to him about it.

"What's with you Anderson? Why are you so… jumpy?" Ray comes up to Blaine at his locker, starting to open his own locker beside the shorter boy's.

The fact that Blaine flinches and turns quickly to find the source of the voice doesn't help him make his excuse any more viable.

"Just trying to get used to being able to do whatever I want, I guess. Not every day you get to be the king of the school, right?"

"That's why you should make _them_ flinch, not yourself." He challenges.

"Well I'm not used to all these new people I don't know. Sorry if that bothers you."

"Whatever." Ray reaches into his locker to grab his science book and slams the door shut, making Blaine flinch once again. Smirking, Ray jogs away to catch up with some of his classmates he shares his next class with.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god, he knows something. How would he know, I haven't said a word to anyone. What does he know? Stop freaking out, he doesn't know anything because you haven't said anything. There's no way he knows. Sure, he might know something's up, but he doesn't know _what. _Calm the fuck down, or he'll pry for more._

He takes a deep breath and tries not to let his knees wobble as he makes his way to his English class for the last period of the day.

There's no way they'd have anything to seriously suspect about Blaine. Yet.


	3. Big Brother(s)

By the time Blaine's nerves calm down enough to be manageable it's almost Christmas break. The week before break starts all of his classes are planning parties and making lists of who is going to bring cookies or chips or soda to each period. They also start planning what can be considered their first "real" parties _after _school; their parents leaving on vacations by themselves because they believe their children are old enough now to be able to take care of themselves for a few days while they enjoy a Caribbean cruise, or something of the like.

Saying Blaine's nerves calmed down is one thing; keeping ahold of his paranoia quite another altogether. Even though there's no visible flinching, there's always the mental scolding for one thing of another – zoning out during lunch while his friends discuss who's party they're going to or not going to, who they're trying to hook up with or date, finding himself glancing in the wrong direction in the locker room before or after gym, or walking down the hall and making eye contact for too long. _Long enough to make them suspicious, idiot, what the hell do you think you're doing? Get a hold of yourself!_

Trivial things are starting to take a toll on him and one day they come to a head.

Sitting at his normal lunch table the Wednesday before break with his soccer team, he tries to keep up with them as they talk about their plans for over break, but he finds that putting up his usual mask is just getting too hard. Sure, he's been invited to them all, but how many of those people were being genuine with him compared to just going along with who they were expected to invite? Their plans don't really concern him, do they? Why should he have to listen in? It's not like there's going to be a quiz about where everyone is going to be on New Year's.

_Cooper comes back on Friday, right? Or was it Saturday? Who cares, maybe he'll try and surprise me and come back today. Mom and Dad have been a little off lately, they must be trying to keep it a secret. Ew, what was that, it was black and did _not_ belong in mystery meatlo-"_

Sure enough, as soon as Blaine deems it safe to zone out for a few minutes to eat his Mystery-Meat lunch in the confines of his head, Zane notices.

"Hey Anderson, pay attention, we're trying to decide what we're doing for New Year's." As Zane narrows his eyes across the table at the confused eighth grader, the rest of the team snickers.

"Oh, I uh, didn't realize it was a required team-bonding-time party," Blaine tries to reply sarcastically. It doesn't work.

"Where the hell have you been lately, man? The only time you're really there is when we're on the field."

"What do you mean? I've been here since September?" _Except for the fact you haven't, you've been actively ignoring them whenever you can _Blaine mentally chimes in.

"Don't try and play stupid, Anderson, you _know_ what I mean. You've been zoning out whenever you think we won't notice," the whole table has grown quiet by now and are all intensely listening to Blaine try and mutter an excuse.

"Well sorry I haven't been up to your standards. Things are kind of hard without Cooper being home, and he hasn't even visited in months, and my parents are acting weird, and it's kind of scaring me," Blaine snaps angrily. Maybe if he gives enough semi-false, semi-exaggerated information they might take it seriously enough to feel bad and lay off him for a while.

And for a while it does work.

"Dude, sorry, we didn't know, and you not saying anything kind of lets us make up what we want, you know?" Zane glances at the others at the table trying to transfer some of the guilt of bringing up a touchy subject to his teammates.

"Yeah, whatever, I just want it to be break already," and he's almost immediately yelling at himself for being so careless as to think they wouldn't notice how he's withdrawn from all of his closest friends from the year before and from over the summer.

"Well, if you want to get away from any of that, you know you can text us if you want to join in on our…adventures…over break. Okay?" But there's something underneath how Zane says it that makes it seem like Blaine doesn't really have to want to go out with them, but he's going to anyway. Whether he wants to or not, he's going to have to go out with them to keep up appearances that things are alright.

It occurs to Blaine that Zane might just know that something big is going to happen concerning Blaine, and soon, because why else would he be pushing this? Is he trying to protect Blaine's reputation?

The glint in Zane's eye is enough to unsettle Blaine and make him uneasy. It's like the strange tugging in the back of his mind way back when he was trying to come to terms with himself last year. Except this time is different, because he has nothing to realize about himself this time, right?

And then it hits Blaine like a truck. _He knows._

…_But then why would he be trying to help keep me in the loop?_

Blaine tries to figure out Zane's angle on the whole ordeal and comes up with nothing but the idea that he's just clueing Blaine in and trying to get him in the worst situation and let everything loose. He's trying to set him up.

But there's nothing Blaine can really do about it, now, can he? If he confronts Zane about it and it turns out Zane was suspicious of something else, well, then Blaine just told one of the most popular guys in school and most of the population of Westerville Middle School will know by tomorrow. If Zane _has _figured it out, well, he's still screwed. No way out except for to go with the flow, then.

Blaine nods uncomfortably and immediately looks down to stare at his now cold lunch, and the rest of the table continue discussing their plans for over break, noticeably leaving Blaine to stew in peace about his "family predicament."

The rest of the day goes by unbelievably slowly.

* * *

Blaine waits out the rest of the school week, hoping beyond hope Cooper shows up sooner rather than later, but as it just so happens, Cooper seems to have stuck to the original plan of coming home from college Friday morning while Blaine is still at school. Still, Blaine gets a small surprise when he finds out that it's Cooper in the car waiting outside the school to pick him up from the last day of torture.

"Coop!" Blaine almost jumps into his big brother's arms.

"Well, hello to you too, squirt! How's my baby bro?!" Cooper replies with an equally large smile plastered on his face as they pull away from each other.

"Okay, first of all, during your stay at college you somehow forgot not to call me that, but don't worry, it's forgiven, it's been a while," Blaine replies with a sly grin and glint in his eye that lets Cooper know he's kidding, but slightly serious about the whole name-teasing business, "but I'm good, I missed you."

Cooper observes how he looks down for a split second and instantly draws up the courage to look Cooper back in the eye. "What about you?! New girlfriend, perhaps?" he looks back up with a forced smile and obvious wink.

"Uhh, not yet squirt, if you get in the car I'll tell you all my dirty little college secrets and all the nitty-gritty details, but we need to get home, Mom and Dad wanted to talk to us together now that I'm home."

"Fine, but I hope you know you're not getting out of this interrogation. Brother to brother." Blaine smarmily replied then opened the passenger door and slid in.

"Whoa, there cowboy, who said you were riding in the front seat, 'must be at least 12 years of age or 5 foot' says so right there," his brother pointed to on the visor in front of Blaine and smirked at Blaine's obvious impatience.

"Calm down, short stuff, you know I'm kidding. I wouldn't even do it if it didn't get to you so much. Seeing your feathers so ruffled is fun," Cooper said as he buckled up and started the large SUV.

"But really, care to share why you tried to avoid giving me a real answer about how you're doin'?"

Sometimes Blaine hated that they knew each other and their giveaways so well.

"It's nothing major. You're making a big deal out of it, I can tell already…"

"And yet you still won't tell me. Don't give me that bull shit, Blaine." He replied as he glanced at Blaine with a sideways smirk, knowing he was going to get an answer one way or another.

"Mom and Dad are acting weird." Blaine blurted. "I don't think it's because you left for college, either, They're just being…different. I can't tell if it's bad or good."

"Is everything okay though?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. It's just…strange… Unsettling. You know?"

"Sure. I've only been home for a few hours, so I guess I'll have plenty of time to see what you mean."

They sat in silence for the rest of the drive to the Anderson household with the exceptions of Cooper trying to making his little brother try to laugh at his impressions of the songs playing on the radio.

As the car was put in park in the garage, Cooper and Blaine shared a knowing look before they both immediately reached for the door handles and raced from the car to the door leading into the kitchen.

Cooper just barely beat Blaine, mostly because he had pushed the much smaller boy out of his way and into a tub full of rags that they use to clean up around the house.

"You should probably work on that, Blainers, you haven't beat me in six years!" Cooper called from where he was standing with his head in the refrigerator.

"Well, if you didn't cheat every time maybe it'd be more even." The curly-haired boy replied as he walked into the room and closed the door, all while trying to wipe off the dust that had accumulated on his black polo.

"Hello darling, how was your day at school?" the two brothers turned to face the small women when she had walked into the room and proceeded to kiss each of them on the cheek.

"Great, Ma, classes were nothing but parties, so I'm ready for break. That's for sure." He rolled his eyes as the small woman tried brushing off more dust from his back when he went to grab an apple off the counter.

"Well, that's nice," she absent-mindedly muttered. "Would you two like to come into the living room for a second? There's something your father and I would like to share with you."

"Sure, just let me put my stuff in my room," Blaine said as he picked his school bag off the stool he had set it on.

As soon as he began his climb up the stairs towards his room he started to get nervous. The strange feeling of something tugging on the back of his mind came back, warning him that nothing good was going to come from this particular family discussion.

_Get a grip, Anderson, there's no way they know yet. You've been trying too hard to keep it a secret for them to even suspect _that_._

He eventually made his way into the living room with a heavy weight in his gut, fully expecting the worst when he saw that all three were staring at him, his mother and father on one sofa and Cooper on the one facing them over a small coffee table. He quickly took a seat next to his older brother and waited for someone to break the heavy silence first.

Mr. Anderson cleared his throat, the sound too loud for a room that was quickly closing in on Blaine, and nudged his wife to prompt her to start.

"So, we've been waiting a long time to tell you boys this, and I think we're both happy we waited until both of you could be here to hear it instead of over the phone," Mrs. Anderson glanced at Cooper lovingly with a small trace of nervousness buried under excitement.

His anxiousness grew tenfold at the fact that he had absolutely no clue what was going to spring from his parent's mouths next.

"I think I should give you guys these first, before we say anything else." Mr. Anderson interrupted to hold out two small objects in his palm that was slightly shaking. Blaine hesitated, seeing that his father was not completely in control and was lost in a moment of panic before stomping it down and reaching forward.

"I'M A BIG BROTHER!" Was proudly displayed on both pins.

Looking up at his older brother with a confused face, Blaine saw a mirroring confusion before the pieces started to click. His parents have been acting strangely for the last two months. They waited until Cooper was home to say anything. Both pins said the same thing.

He snapped his head up to only be confirmed by the slight nod his father gave him.

"You're both going to be big brothers! We're having another baby!"

* * *

_A/N: so let me just apologize profusely for not having this done so much earlier like I had promised, I really am sorry, and by no means am I giving up on this story. Just know that the next time I say "a new chapter will be up soon!" there will probably be something involving school or work that inevitably will get in the way. But anyway, thank you for sticking with this story long enough to get here, I'm so grateful you're still reading this, so I'll leave you will another 'thank you!' and if you want to, drop a review so I can see if anyone even wants me to keep going with it!_


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